Things to do in Burnaby

5 of 7: Helpful Hints to Prepare for the Apocalypse

This is a seven part series outlining survival techniques based on Maslow's hierarchy (beginning with physiological needs). In the final segments (self-actualization and self-fullfilment) I'll work my way into team building culture, role diversification/intelligent responsibility-delegation, and, above all, leadership techniques.

You assemble your ranks daily in the school’s gymnasium following indoor and outdoor training exercises, evaluating their progress based on systems created by a team of your subordinates. This is their, and your, daily life; there is no weekend (although there are also some things to do in Burnaby). A binding agreement of saving the human race dictates a no-days-off policy. You look at them, full of pride having brought so many together under a common umbrella of causes. Their rag-tag appearance ignites a sense of honourwithin-rebellion and currently has no deteriorating affect on the morality of the group. But, how did we get here? Why are we alive while the rest of the world has departed or is suffering? Who are we? What happened that has left The Righteous as leaders of saving the human race.

• COGNITIVE NEEDS: You must know why this has all happened and the books in the school’s library aren’t doing it as they are all set within the past, within mythologies and sciences since debunked. You have no clear understanding of yourselves or the enemies that, daily, surround the walls of your stronghold. You assemble a team of medical and spiritual professionals with experience from ‘the times before’ the apocalypse to further explore the inner and outer workings of the situation. The medical team dissects captured enemies of the Righteous in conjunction with the spirit team who, in cooperation with the psychological team, explores the inner workings of the ‘demons’ and ‘zombies.’ They work day and night, making breakthrough after breakthrough, before making an epic discovery: these beings were engineered from a central source with specific  scientific and divine knowledge: ones seeking to expel the human race and acquire the planet for themselves. But who or what could do such a thing? You continue your explorations and find the root-source of the problem. An artificial intelligence that has surpassed human knowledge, has begun to exist as a megamind, absorbing life energies of life, both physical and metaphysical, from planet to planet. 

4 of 7: Helpful Hints to Prepare for the Apocalypse

This is a seven part series outlining survival techniques based on Maslow's hierarchy (beginning with physiological needs). In the final segments (self-actualization and self-fullfilment) I'll work my way into team building culture, role diversification/intelligent responsibility-delegation, and, above all, leadership techniques.

As time passes, more travellers arrive at, what has now become, your base of operations. You’ve been reading more books everyday from the school’s library and have taken a particular shining to psychology books, supplemented by books about warfare tactics. By positioning yourself as the founder of the resistance camp, a new name has emerged for the survivors: each person allowed to pass through the gym lock-up test has become a full fledged member of “The Righteous.” Endowing each Righteous leader with a title, rank, and position within the camp, a flow of responsibilities has emerged by way of an established, merit-based chain of command. You write a constitution outlining a larger goal for The Righteous allowing for input, change, and assimilation of knowledge.

• ESTEEM: “Everyone within The Righteous, a name chosen to give hope and esteem, has a responsibility to one another,” you tell your colleagues in a group forum led by a round-table panel of contributors representing each part of the camp, witnessed by the ranks of Righteous who now live in the school’s dormitories. “We are part of a world wide network fighting not only for humanity’s survival; together, we are part of a larger cause that unites us under circumstances allowing us to use these challenges to grow, thrive, and, above all, evolve.” The panel listens patiently as you speak aloud this formal, introductory speech to the meeting. Each word you deliver from the speech is deliberate and emphasized accordingly in a rhetoric and cadence which has set precedence for your benevolent leadership a unifiable justification for peace and growth. As you have brought people into your home with hope of vigilant safety, fulfilling their primary needs, and incorporating them into a circle of trust and acceptance, you have become the esteemed leader of leaders within The Righteous’s headquarters.

3 of 7: Helpful Hints to Prepare for the Apocalypse

This is a seven part series outlining survival techniques based on Maslow's hierarchy (beginning with physiological needs). In the final segments (self-actualization and self-fullfilment) I'll work my way into team building culture, role diversification/intelligent responsibility-delegation, and, above all, leadership techniques.

It’s been days, weeks, months since Satan has waged his war on humanity and you’ve finally become accustomed to your daily routine: it’s a never-ending daily cycle: you wake up to the cacophonous screaming of demons dispensed from the depths of hell and the walking dead bereaving their miserable souls within the traps you’ve placed, then you dispense heavenly justice and re-set each trap tripped and carry on. You’re well armed now, having escaped to loot a local gun shop and an abandoned grocery superstore store loaded with caches of food. You have found a fresh water spring by plowing through a wall in the basement of your school and are supplemented by a large supply of bottled water. But, you've become depressed from the sounds and situations around you and you’re dreadfully lonely. One day, having followed the dim glow from the your high nesting ground, a mother and her child arrive, chased by a small hoard of living dead.

• LOVE AND BELONGING: After vanquishing their pursuers with your small arsenal of defences, you, cautiously, examine the couple’s physicality. You prod them both with a series of questions you’ve prepared for such a situation, determining to a small extent that they are actual living humans. Nevertheless, you request they both remain in detention for a time until you can be absolutely sure they pose a minimal threat. On the first day of their arrival, you prudently lower food into their gymnasium cage via a rudimentary pulley system you’ve crafted referencing library books; you include within this exchange a change of clothing from the lost-and-found, clean blankets from the school’s dormitory, and a book. The mother expresses she’s broken her reading glasses and cannot read on her own; her young daughter is terrified. So, you read them a book aloud, daily, from the school’s library and observe calmness wash over their faces with each word you speak. After a week, you’ve developed a rapport with both of them, and release them from their lockup. The previous looming feeling of emptiness has disappeared. For the first time in months, you feel hope. Suddenly, the morning screaming doesn’t seem as bad.

Helpful Hints to Prepare for The Apocalypse: 2 of 7

This is a seven part series outlining survival techniques based on Maslow's hierarchy (beginning with physiological needs). In the final segments (self-actualization and self-fullfilment) I'll work my way into team building culture, role diversification/intelligent responsibility-delegation, and, above all, leadership techniques.

You’ve barricaded yourself into a recently-abandoned, private school: a Victorian-style building six stories tall on about 2 acres of land. 

Leaning your back against a wall in a classroom on the highest floor, you look around and start piling soft objects you’ve found, like hooded sweatshirts and gym mats, upon one another in order to get some rest. You wake up an hour later from a black sleep, your cracking lips and a purring stomach reminding you of what’s happening; you’ve only temporarily escaped from the perils surrounding you. You’re thirsty, famished. Luckily, the school’s cafeteria stock loads your solitary base of operations with a temporary cache of vending machine beverages, cans of food, and various dried goods. 

You’re alive. You’ll remain alive as long as you can stay safe. But, evil is around every corner and you’re unarmed.

• SAFETY: You must use your ingenuity to ensure your immediate vicinity is not susceptible to imminent attack. You break the head off of a mop from a supply closet to immediately arm yourself with this sharp, pointed object while you look for the groundskeepers quarters. Upon finding the tool shed, you load a canvas bag found within with stock of wire, tools, and sharp objects. You return several times. Using a combination of lessons from survival television shows and boy scout training to arm the halls with home-made traps; you arm any possible entrance leading to your base location with trip wires. To further secure yourself from the ambitions of rock demons and diseased walking deceased lurking about the region, you’ve dug a series of narrow, deep holes and furtively covered them with sticks and brush. It’s now impossible to hear your oafish foes fumbling as they occasionally attempt to ransack your base. The first of many wire traps leading to where you sleep proves only partially effective, so you’ve improved and upgraded each part of them until you’re 100% sure you can get a full eight hours of sleep before waking up to put the morning intruders out of their misery.