Helpful Hints to Prepare for The Apocalypse: 1 of 7

This is a seven part series outlining survival techniques based on Maslow's hierarchy (beginning with physiological needs). In the final segments (self-actualization and self-fullfilment) I'll work my way into team building culture, role diversification/intelligent responsibility-delegation, and, above all, leadership techniques.

The disease has been let loose and it’s raining fire. Flesh-eating elephants have escaped from the zoo and herds of cattle are running rampant through the city streets. Michael, the archangel, appears from behind a cloud and sounds his trumpet—all of a sudden the ground opens up to reveal a furnace of torture instruments as an icy breeze swiftly blows from the flames of hell, biting your face and numbing your hands. Stop what you’re doing: this is invariably the end of all that is. The following is a worst case preparation scenario for the impending apocalypse.

• REFUGE: The first action you must take is to find a place of refuge where you can recharge, catch your breath, store your gear, and organize your thoughts. Any secluded area will do, such as a penthouse in an abandoned high rise condo building, an empty bank vault (as long as you have means to not become locked in), or a small school. Be sure to limit the amount of entrances and exits in order to face your diseased, mutated foe head-on. If you have the option to barricade yourself in at night, then do so as the lack of visibility is your enemy, hoards of starving brain-suckers, will be sniffing you out with canine-like intensity. Be assured: they can smell your fear. Furthermore, you are not only protecting yourself from the perils of death sweeping through the streets, but also from those survivors who mean to undermine your efforts to redeem the human race. You will face deception from foe posing as friend. Remember: trust no one. Anyone who has not otherwise proven themselves as an ally to defend your mortality is an enemy to which you must always be ready to swiftly remove from their plight. Find water. Find Food.

Ten Escape Lessons Learned from Horror Movies: Part Two

Horror recap:

Stay with your friends, keep it in your pants, take in your surroundings, hold it for another 40 minutes and always…always listen to the helpful advice of the locals (even if they only have two teeth and three strings on their banjo).

Now for this week's gems.

5. Stairs to anywhere equate to death

• If you run upstairs, you'll be suddenly trapped in little Suzie's posterized bedroom with your only option being a jump from a second-story window. Hint: two broken ankles makes for a slow escape. If you head downstairs, you'll be trapped in Kevin McCallister's worst nightmare. Hint: the undead love the basement. Closer to the ground and full of creepy crawlies. The good news: there is no stairs at the Krakit escape rooms. 

4. Two Taps

• One ain't gonna do it. Countless innocent screamers have been killed because they didn't finish the job. When taking down the main antagonist, always remember two bullets/strikes/stabs to the head. One only stuns; two will finish what you started. This rule also applies to puzzles. Never do anything half-ass. See the job to the end.

3. Bargaining Power (or the Strip-To-Live principle)

• Leverage is key in any bargaining situation. You're going to have to give up something to get out of this blood bath, so try to amass as much power as you can while in the game. The last card to be played is your clothes, ie: strip-to-live. Stripping is a distraction for any creature, killer or no-gooder. It shows you will do anything to survive. Note to escape fans: keep your clothes on. The strip option should only be used when death is an actual possibility. We're sure you have lovely underwear, but we don't want to see it and it won't get you any extra clues. 

2. Be intolerant of bad ideas

• "No! We are not going to take that short-cut." People under duress panic and make poor decisions. Be the levelheaded one and take the reigns. That being said, if all your friends tell you that your idea is bad, it might be worth a rethink. Check the ego, restrain the ridiculous, and keep your head.

1. Teamwork trumps all

• Multiple tasks can be accomplished in a shorter amount of time if everyone works together towards a common goal: escape. Solo missions end in slaughter. Remember that first rule…? Always stay with the group.

Good Luck!

Ten Escape Lessons Learned from Horror Movies: Part One

It might surprise you to learn that those horror movies you've been watching since you were old enough to stay up past midnight have been laying the groundwork for a valuable education in escape theory. "Pardon?!?" you say. Well, while your parents were spending thousands on tutors, math camp and post-secondary institutions, they could have just sat you down with an armful of horror Bluerays, DVDS or VHS tapes.

Fact: Horror movies contain all the lessons you need to survive in a dangerous environment. We treat them as entertainment, but they are actually a how-to-succeed guide for escape rooms. Here are the ten most important lessons we’ve learned from the horror genre:

10. Never leave the group.

• This should be a given, but it seems to be the most broken rule of survival in the horror movie canon. Desertion leads to death. Stick with the group and survive, at least a little bit longer. For escape room enthusiasts, you're already trapped together. So it should be pretty much near impossible to break this rule.

9. Get your hormones in check

• The heavy petting can wait until you're safely home. Any couple who stops for a quickie will be mutilated. Monsters, killers and random acts of nature hate fortification. Jason Vorhees should be the post boy for abstinence. Keep your pants sipped and your mind clear. This goes double for the escape challenge.

8. Be aware of your surroundings

• Everything seems sped up in a nightmarish scenario. But fight the urge to freak out. Take your time and examine your environment. "Oh, there's a light switch there." Or, "Oh, I guess that dark shape in the corner is the killer." Observe and report.

7. Avoid the bathroom

• You can hold it - at least for 45 minutes. Anyone who has ever stopped to use the facilities in a horror film has been threatened by death. Never shower. Never wash your face. And avoid mirrors. Especially when repeating the names of murderers.

6. Listen to the locals

• When locals warn you about the haunted mansion on the hill - there's a reason. IT"S HAUNTED! If a random doctor whispers a clue in your ear… TAKE IT!

The Escape Game Phenomenon

"Escape the Room" real-life challenges are becoming hugely popular around North America. The movement started in Asia, spread to Western Europe and popped up on the west coast in the last year or so.

The room challenges come on the heels of a widely successful online gaming genre where gamers must escape a certain set of parameters with only a limited amount of clues. The offline version is now eclipsing the popularity of its predecessor, as more gamers choose to do their sleuthing in person rather than from in front of a screen.

One of the major benefits of the 'real-life' experience is the social interaction. Sure the new console platforms come with helo-grade communication headsets, but they don't compare to the experience of climbing around a room with your friends, shouting out directions and laughing the whole time.

Jerry, from South Carolina, may come up with a few 'zingers', but Rich, your oldest friend, will always have you laughing the hardest. Especially when he references your high school awkwardness.

For parents, the escape rooms present an environment that is more controllable than the Internet. It is free of creepers (the two-legged kind) and online bullying opportunities. But the most encouraging thing for parents is the promotion of problem solving in a setting outside of the classroom. Kids get to work through the required tasks and ask for clues if they need them, so they don't get overly frustrated. They get to use all their education at once, to solve actual problems. And who knows, maybe one day they will be trapped in zombie apocalypse.

Some media analysts speculate that the immersive escape experience is an intermediate step between full-on virtual reality and the motion capture experience supplied by console apparatuses like the Wii. Technology can't quite offer the virtual experience console games tease us with. The analog purity of the first-person real-life experience is much more enticing.

But maybe the biggest draw is society's new desire to de-tech, especially after a long workweek staring at screens. The escape rooms provide a tech cleanse of sorts, where participants can turn away form their mobiles, detach from their social media platforms and tune back to the thrill of real life experience.

If you haven't tried this latest craze, you really owe it to yourself to give it a whirl. Vancouver's top rooms are at Krakit. Come try one of the four escape puzzles and unplug for an hour of fun.